I get so many offlines, i forward them and that's the end. Sometimes I need to reforward them and they're gone, I wish I could have a database, a record of such and I believe Nairland can make that come true, plus i'd like to share mine with you as well as see what you see.

> > > Interviewer to Millionaire: To whom do you owe your success as a millionaire?" > > > Millionaire: "I owe everything to my wife." > > > Interviewer: "Wow, she must be some woman. What were you before you married her?" > > > Millionaire: I was "A Billionaire"

Son: Mom, when I was on the bus with Dad this morning, he told me to give up my seat to a lady. Mom: Well, you have done the right thing. Son: But mum, I was sitting on daddy's lap.
Uyime Tech Systems (5/17/2006 3:20:27 PM): Wife to husband: "What's your excuse for coming home at this time of the night?" Husband to wife: "Golfing with friends, my dear." Wife to husband: "What? At 2 am?" Husband to wife: "Yes, We used night clubs."

When a GIRL is quiet, Millions of things are running in her mind. When a GIRL is not arguing,She is thinking deeply. When a GIRL looks at u with eyes full of questions, She is wondering how long you will be around. When a GIRL answers "i'm fine" after a few seconds, She is not at all fine. When a GIRL stares at you, She is wondering why you are lying. When a GIRL says I love you, She means it. When a GIRL says "i miss you", No one in this world can miss you more than her.

in 1976, obasanjo visited our school and said we were the leaders of tomorrow. 30 years later he is still our leader. He used up our parents quota, he is using our quota and now he wants to use our children's quota. say no to 3rd term!!!

After hearing the story of Jonah at Sunday School, a little girl repeated the story at school on Monday.

Her teacher said it was physically impossible for a whale to swallow a human because, even though it is a very large mammal, its throat is very small.

The little girl said, "But how can that be? Jonah was swallowed by a whale."Irritated, the teacher reiterated that a whale could not swallow a human. "It is physically impossible!" she said.

Undaunted, the little girl said, "Well, when I get to heaven I will ask Jonah."

To this, the teacher said, "What if Jonah went to hell?"

The little girl replied, "Then YOU ask him!"

ON JUNE 6 - 2006 & 6 MIN & 6 SEC AFTER 6 AM DAY TIME AND DATE WILL BE 06:06:06:06:/06/06/06 HAPPENS ONCE IN 100000 YEARS

men were born between the legs of a woman, yet men spend all their life and time trying 2 go back between the legs of a woman. why?becoz there's no place like home

Bible researcher interviewed Hausa, Yoruba and Ibo folks to know what they would rather change in the bible if they were given the chance. The Hausa man said: "Walahi, the adulteress Jesus asked to go should have been stoned fa!" The Ibo man replied: "NNA, I can't understand why Judas returned the money after selling Jesus. In short, he is not a good business man." The Yoruba man retorted: Jesus should have waited just one more day before raising Lazarus from the dead. We had already paid for the ASO -EBI. At least he should have allowed us enjoy the OWAMBE before performing his miracle

The Lord is my Operating System, I shall not hang. He makes me to boot normally without errors. He loads my routing table with cool links; he restored my path. He routed me to the server of righteousness, for His domain sake. Even though I browse hackers’ sites, I will fear no attack, for he is my Firewall. Thy antivirus and Intrusion Prevention System, they comfort me. Thou preparest a link before me in the presence of time-outs; thou connected my links with fiber optics. Surely solid connection and replies shall follow me all the period of my pings. And I shall telnet from the server of the Lord for ever and ever. Amen

An airplane flying has some problems. The pilot says the plane is losing height and all the baggage must be thrown out. (Pilot) "We're still losing height, we must throw everything out that is in the cabin" Despite more things being thrown out the plane continues its descent. (Pilot) "Still going down - we must throw out some people" There's a big gasp from the passengers! (Pilot) "But to make this fair - passengers will be thrown out in alphabetical order, so A, any Africans on board?" No one moves. (Pilot) "B, any Blacks on board?" No one moves. (Pilot) "C, any Caribbeans on board?" Still no one moves. Little black boy asks his dad , "Dad, what are we?" (Dad) Shhhhhhhh "Tonight son, we are Zulus.

At the university of liverpool, a Professor was talking about increasing milk production of the cows, when a girl in the class asked: "Why do cows always seem depressed when being milked?" The Professor answered, "Well my girl, if every morning at dawn they woke you up, rubbed your boobs for two hours and didn't make love to you afterwards, you'll look depressed too!"

I want to introduce you to the law of aerodynamics that states that it is possible that something can go up and remain there. Before this year runs out, u shall find yourself somewhere that u can't even bring yourself down. Your blessings shall never come down, u shall never fail, the law of gravity will never work in your finances, business, family, all area of your life etc. Stay blessed. The devil is a liar. You may be going through a tough time right now but God is getting ready to bless you in a way that only He can. Keep the faith. My instructions were to pick four people that I wanted God to bless, and I picked you.

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly, "I have something I must confess."
"There's no need to," his wife replied. "No," he insisted,
"I want to die in peace. I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!" "I know, I know," she replied.
"Now just rest and let the poison work." LOL

What is ABCDEFG? A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!!!!!!! But what is GFEDCBA? The opposite -> Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!!!!!!!
doctor219 (26.05.2006 20:43:59): What is ABCDEFG? A Boy Can Do Everything For a Girl!!!!!!! But what is GFEDCBA? The opposite -> Girl Forgets Everything Done and Catches new Boy Again!!!!!!! MORE HERE http://pub3.bravenet.com/forum/198963833

A week before my wedding to Funke, a young beautiful Yoruba girl, I was summoned by her equally beautiful Mother, Mama Funke, my soon to be mother in-law. I was asked to come over to her house ASAP and I obliged by rushing over to her house on Victoria Island. I arrived to find my soon to be new Mother in-Law scantily clad and lying on the sofa asking me to come join her. After I informed her that I was uncomfortable with her request and that she must be forgetting that I was about to marry Funke her only daughter, I was re-assured that I did not have to worry about all that. She assured me that my affair with her would be handled with the utmost secrecy and besides, I was reminded that she was every man's fantasy! After a brief pause, I bolted out the door like a "Bat Outta Hell" rushing towards my car where I found her Husband, Baba Funke, my soon to be new Father In-Law, sitting on the hood of my car. Needless to say, I was stunned! He stood up, hugged me, applauded me and told me he was proud of me and now truly confident that his only daughter made the right choice in picking me as her intended husband. He told me that he put his wife Mama Funke up to testing me by inviting me over for an affair. Phew!!!, I sighed as I drove away thanking my stars that he stopped me before I got to my private stash of condoms that I was gunning for in the boot of my car!!!