Cam MTB - the Cambridge Mountain Bikers' Forum

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DISCLAIMER. MOUNTAIN BIKING CAN BE DANGEROUS. YOU JOIN US AT YOUR OWN RISK.

SAFETY BRIEFING.

  • Wear a helmet. Despite recent advances in medical science, brains still cannot be mended nor replaced.
  • Wear gloves or mitts. Hands often hit the ground first. Cuts and grazes invite infection and a hospital visit.
  • Wear eye protection, it only takes a twig or thorn to lose an eye. Crud catchers are a good idea in mucky weather.
  • When downhilling, for your own protection, allow plenty of space behind the rider in front.
  • Bring a bare minimum emergency tool kit and a spare inner tube.
  • Breakdowns are a bore. Plan not to have any by ensuring your bike is in perfect working order.
  • Punctures are also tedious. You can minimise them by fitting latex tubes, slime tubes or running tubeless tyres.

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CAPTION COMPETITION

#1: Other uses for a knackered latex tube # 652: Paul shows Mike how to construct a sling for the inevitable next time;

#2: Paul: "My cock is this long but it looks 10 inches inside this latex tube!"

Re: CAPTION COMPETITION

Pasty always gets the word "cock" in at that table. Not a caption, just a statement

Re: CAPTION COMPETITION

"This is the secret signal of the British Gimp Society"

Latex anyone?

Re: CAPTION COMPETITION

"The girth was that big...phwww, told Elton it would never fit".
Just then a lower leg amputee kneed over Staffys pint.

Re: CAPTION COMPETITION

"This is what happens when you drink as much wine as I do..you end up having some kind of weird claw hand permanently ready to accept another glass of the good stuff. It's not like I have a problem or anything, each tuesday and thursday night I lay off the wine and only drink beer. I just like to shake things up, part of my new edgy persona that challenges perceptions of men in their sixties. For example, on wednesdays I wear women's clothes"

Re: CAPTION COMPETITION

"I always prefer my pickled eggs to be a normal size like this" - "OMG" says Steve as the barmaid brings in the giant pickled egg still in its shell bottom left.

Re: CAPTION COMPETITION

Sheeeeeeet, I've lost me right hand fisting glove, said Ed Winchester.