Its snowing and I still remember.


The day the snow came down



The day the snow came down, n I drowned in my own tears.

4am wake up call.

5am airport.

6am timeless flight to Skipole, Amsterdam.




We flew through a snowstorm to a land, covered in a blanket of white, so pure n right for such a black day. A journey no one would wish to take, a sad yet beautiful day.

Drove to Rotterdam, every second seemed like an hour, every hour seemed to last a lifetime. Checked into the Cappelle Hotel a/d Ijssel- Netherlands and we sat n we stared!

Karen would be wearing her Harley T-shirt whatever!!! Should I?

In my heart of hearts I knew it would only be right.

Dressed in black, we set off to de Aula Van Begraafplaats Schollvaar.

We arrived an hour earlier than we needed to, in time to take a walk around the cemetery, only to be caught n covered in huge thick soft drifts of white snowflakes. It had made me smile. I looked up and said “Okay, Simone, what’s the game then? We know you know we’re here!!”

I Said to Karen, “I’m sure she’s up there laughing at us silly sods out here in this blizzard.”

So it was off to buy two black brollies (black or white n step on it).

So many people were arriving. Were they all for Simone? Well over two hundred indeed were all there for her. I thought of all the others who would have been here, if only they could.

Endless amounts of flowers were arriving, all white! Every tribute was white: roses, lilies, and all manner of flowers - but only white. They appeared as pure as the driven snow.

Our hearts were breaking as we stood in silence watching as she came up the long snow covered drive. The four black cars against the grey sky silently drew to a halt, and there in the cold light of day, was my dear Harley mate, the one I’d had so many delightful times with, always with smiles, oh how could this be? I could not bear to lift my eyes to Kees.

Silently we walked with the masses into the chapel. I pulled my long black coat together and glanced down to see a little bit of Harley peeping out. Karen and I looked at each other, and our attire, and tried desperately not to fall apart. I shed a tear at this point, but knew I must smile, as this day we celebrate Simones life.

Nikki n Mike sat in the front row, awaiting their mum. Looking around I noticed their little faces were beaming smiles that washed over me as if to calm, reminding me that life goes on. They waved at us. I thought I would burst and drown there and then.

It took some time for all the friends and family to take their places in the building.

All the flowers were arranged at the front for when she was bought in, and they were beautiful. A sea of white roses, with lilies, and daisies, entwined with white satin ribbons and bows, n lush green leaves. My eyes then fell upon the very posy of white roses Karen and I had bought on the way in from the airport. Ray had also asked us to get Simone some flowers from him, which we did. I just sat and stared, filling up, overwhelmed with emotion. I could feel Karen’s eyes looking at me, not able to move, not able to look her in the eyes, as the pain was too much. I just stared at the mass of flowers, wishing this was not true. She took hold of my hand and said, “Alright Deb?”

Slowly the six strong bearers carried Simone into the room, Kees being the strongest for sure, and who was placed at her right hand side. They laid her to rest awhile next to all her flowers. Kees took his place sitting between Nikki n Mike. Then the service began, most, well almost all, seemed double Dutch to me!

All the time, past memories flooded my mind.

The last time I saw Simone was just before Xmas, when I went over to see her for the weekend. We went to the zoo, and she still smiled, even though she was so unwell. I sang to her: “Me and the elephant we’ll still remember you.”
I thought of when I took her breakfast in bed and how we’d giggled, as I bounced around on her bed making some comment about how much more comfortable it was compared to mine back home. She agreed (she n Kees had slept in mine before). We girls admitted that we loved Steve Harley and even though she was feeling unwell, that fact had not changed. We listened to Harley, we watched videos of Harley, and we talked of good times.

I gave her my timeless flight badge (the dove) that only Karen and I possessed, as Sean my hubby had made them for us himself.

The First time I saw Simone, was when we met in London at the convention. The kids were getting their faces painted, and Simone was buying up loads of 45’s from ‘that Steve Davies guy.’

I remembered the gigs we’d been to, and the after gig dinner parties back at my place. I remembered the funny stories we shared. One I’ll never forget was the time Simones hairpiece caught fire on some candles which were on ‘wall hanging things’ in my dining room. It doesn’t sound funny, but Simone ‘laughed her head off’, we all did!

I could see her on the bouncy castle in my back garden, on my granddaughters first birthday.

Prior to her birthday, I remember picking Simone up from the airport and her navigating our journey to Bilston n back for the Harley gig. I was well impressed. She’d come alone, with Kees meeting up with us at Petworth the following day. Then they both came back with the kids for the party, and another gig at Market Harborough.

I don’t speak a lot of Dutch (like none) and Simone never spoke a lot of English, but we managed, we knew each other so well! In Belgium just last year we had such a laugh shopping and eating out, she’d looked so well then, radiant n happy to be pregnant again.

So many memories were running through my head.

I then just looked up as Mike, bless him, read out a poem for his mum. I almost fell apart there and then. He was so clear and precise in what he was reading. Such a big little fellow.

Another read out in Dutch, sentiments that I probably knew, as nothing could be said that I didn’t know. I knew all I needed know about my friend Simone. She has a dear soul. Shone wherever. She was a brilliant caring mother, loving joyful wife, and an excellent kind friend.

Kees stood up, and I detected anger. Devastated he walked over to Simone and lit candles for her. He defiantly broke off a rose from flowers that lay glowing next to the flickering candle lights, then took his place on the stand. He glanced over at Karen and I, and a thousand words took place in a moment, friends talking without speaking, friends hearing without listening, and the vision that was planted in my brain still remains, echoed by the sounds of silence. And as he began his speech I looked at Karen and fell apart. I was sure I’d burst, so chewed up inside, n so full of sadness, and love for him and the kids, and then as he started to talk of Simones passion for Harley. I understood this part, I looked up. I felt a fluttering inside, there was magic from above, and gave Karen a nudge signalling with my eyes to the outside world. LOOK! Such a beautiful moment, the biggest brightest sun came from nowhere and shown through its rays, its beam of light lit up the whole room. Streams of sunlight descended upon her from above, and I could just about utter the words, “Karen, look! Here comes the sun, just for Simone”.

Through the tears I could see that Kees was wearing the badge I’d given her, my coat then fell open, as if just to let the face of Harley see! With tears rolling down our faces we listened as Kees told all of the magic and passion she had for music and that of Steve Harley. He turned and spoke to Simone direct, saying “ I will never forget the first time I saw you, and I will never forget the LAST TIME I SAW YOU !” With that, the song played. I bled, my heart broke a thousand times, then a certain strength was aroused in me, and a feeling of such pure love.

One by one all the flowers were handed out to people in the room. Simone was then taken by Kees and her brother, and the other guys, out into the cold crisp air. We silently followed into the cold light of day, with arms full of flowers for our friend.

After what seemed forever, we stood amongst over two hundred souls, saying our last goodbyes to Simone. Kees n the children took their place at the foot of her grave, as very slowly, very softly, small flakes of snow began to silently drift down n down settling on all the black shapes standing around. They fell thicker and thicker, faster and faster, till the ground and all who stood were covered. It was just like confetti, softly silently floating down, as if a gift from heaven above.

I looked across at Kees and the children, my heart full of love for them all, and knew that it was the perfect setting for someone as beautiful as Simone. The black figures slowly moved off, tear and snow soaked, silently back into the building.

Karen and I stayed till the last had disappeared, we hugged and wiped away the tears and smiled a little smile, a touch of magic was in the air, “She’s with Dino now” “ Look they have the balloons!”

To explain, when Kees n Simone buried Dino in November Nikki and Mike let go two white helium filled balloons for their baby brother, and it was said, “When the snow comes you will know the balloons have reached heaven, and Dino will have his balloons”.

The Snow had come. On this of all days! The snow had come.

It was nice to think Simone and Dino were together with thousands of white balloons, it felt as if they were letting us know.

I thought, look at us in our Harley T-shirts! I said to Karen, did you see Kees’s face, when we stood together at the end in our Harley shirts? He looked up with his sad eyes and shone us a look of pride.

We took an arm in arm stroll with our black brollies, covered in snow, back to the family and friends. Kees n Simones family stood at the door to greet everyone. We were the last through the door, and this was our first contact with Kees for the day, he threw his arms around us both and hugged us to death, and rocked us like babies. He was so glad to see us, we were so privileged to be there. He stood back, pulled his jacket to one side to reveal the timeless flight (dove) badge, and we opened our coats to reveal our Harley T- shirts, did we do right?

Simones parents came to us, with open arms. Kees introduced us: “This is Karen and Debsiii!” They greeted us with much affection, just as if we were family. They asked which one was Deborah? Karen said pointing “This is the mad one”. “Simone talked of you a lot” they said, and thanked us both for coming, and for being such good friends to Simone. They remarked that Simone had talked a lot about her friends in England, and that they now understood so much more of her passion for the music and ‘the man’, Steve Harley. They’d never quite understood why she loved Steve Harley so much, they now understood how special he was to her, and her to him. They were proud to have had such a special daughter, knowing she meant so much to so many people. It was a sad sorrowful day but a beautiful one at that. Simone should rest in peace, and her wonderful smile will be always be cheek to cheek every time I see her in my minds eye. That will never change or be forgotten. At the end of the day that smile will always be kept alive, thanks to the love of the man whose soul n love of music connects ‘friends for life.’


Debs 25.01.03





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Beautiful words Deborah for a beautiful lady,R.I.P. Simone and God Bless You Debs.

Ditto
thank you Mr G god bless you and yours also