Clearly overpriced, the last of the unwanted Pasties was dumped outside the shop

Tom tried every media opportunity to try to change his given name Pastey to Pastie, Alas he never succeeded and this is the last known sighting of 'The pale pastey lad from B'r'ill'

Pasty Tom gives a wry smile before setting pen to paper once more to his local MP, to complain for the umpteenth time about apparent incorrect use of the apostrophe.

Moist, warm and pungent with the odour of fresh meat, Pasty Tom takes a well-earned break.

There was a young man called pasty
Who liked eating mince and pastry
60 miles back to back
He stopped for a snack
Gosh it was ever so tasty

Then he discovered 60 miles was just toooooooo tasty

After 16 hours of fruitless queuing behind some prat in an orange hat outside a locked shop, the mountain-bike got fed up and went home.


Despite the appealing prospect of the bull's-eyes in the shop window, Tom said that he'd rather suck on a fisherman's friend.

Despite including a quarter of mixed Bon Bons into the deal, Tom remains outside and unsold

Despite including a quarter of mixed Bon Bons and a crappy old bike into the deal, Tom remains outside and unsold

How're you doin'?

Hello sweetie

Y IIII!!
Gutted, as soon as the sun came out me Tats faded like a badger on riley hill

I never did like wide screen, all those dwarfs un that

Hot rolls with Pastey...... Nooooooo Thhhhaaannnkkyyyoouu , I'll stick to the fast spin cycle